First, I have to say that although I was somewhat prepared and understood some of the symbolism, I was still surprised. Sometimes pleasantly, sometimes not. Some things were traditions that I wish we as Americans had more like. Our traditions for thanksgiving are that we all get together and eat a lot. End of tradition. Their’s is more of an actual ceremony. Some things, however, I wasn’t so enamored of.

First, we got up at 5:30am for the ceremony. There’s something about an early morning service that they like. The rising sun, always perpendicular to the table set with traditional foods was a beautiful sight. The table is arranged with strict rules according to meats and fishes, grains and fruits and even the color of each. Below, MyeongHee’s two brothers are dressed in their best suits as they make the final arrangements on the table prior to the ceremony.

They spent several minutes fussing over what is placed where in which of the rows and which is more north or south of the other. Fruit is only partially peeled, both to make stacking easier and to keep the colors. Once they had the way they wanted, the actual ceremony began. The older brother kneeled while the younger brother poured cups of rice wine and lit incense. They then bowed according to traditions – two nose touches and one head nod.

Afterwards, they rearranged some of the food. Rice was placed in a dish and a spoon and chopsticks were laid out. We waited a short time while the “spirits” availed themselves of the food prepared for them.  Then everyone took turns bowing similarly with two floor touches and one nod. Then, they brought the table forward and the men each took two or three bites of food along with a cup of wine. The Women were offered food, but none took any that I saw.

Then the surprising thing happened. This wonderful table, set with beautiful dishes and colorful foods was put away.  The table was put up, the screen behind it stored and the food placed back in storage and the dishes put back in their boxes. With only a few bites of food and cup of wine at 6:00am and I was wondering how we’d spend the rest of the day. It didn’t take long to learn.

Like many hometowns, there’s relatives on every corner. MyeongHee’s uncle lived just around the corner and all went over to his house where they conducted the same ceremony all over again. The men fussed over the placement, bowed, poured cups of wine, placed food and chopsticks out for the spirits, bowed again, ate a bite or two and then they put it all away. They did, however, make another table for us for breakfast with different food: soup, rice and kimchee. Breakfast of champions, without a doubt.

I took this picture of MyeongHee’s little brother as we walked to the uncle’s house. The sun was just coming up and we walked along the sea wall, not more than 20 meters from her mother’s home. With hardly a cloud in the sky that morning, it was too bright for a straight shot. So I stood in the shadow of another home to catch him admiring the fabulous sunrise as we walked. Of the two brothers, I liked this one tremendously.

Once we finished breakfast, we headed west to the other side of Pohang to one of the national military cemetaries. MH’s father died in a boating accident in 2005 but he was in the Army during the Korean war and was buried with full honors.  The sun was bright and the air warm among the hundreds of headstones in this mountain top  memorial grounds. Clouds rolled over the tops of nearby mountains to our north only to quickly burn off in the sun. This little girl, dressed in a traditional han-bok dress  played among the markers while her family ate a meal at their loved one’s headstone.

The brothers again brought out the fine dishes and food and placed it on their father’s headstone. Again, they pour cups of rice wine, piled up heaps of food and bowed. We all did. They even lit a cigarette for the old man and let it burn while we all ate a few bites of food. When the cigarette was done, so was the meal and they packed it all back up again. Having just had our rice, soup and kimchee, none of us was very hungry again anyway. Most of the food on the ceremonial tables never made it to the lunch or dinner tables the rest of the time we were at her mother’s house. I saw a lot of get packed up and taken to her brothers homes. I got some to take home, too. We ate some of the fruit and fish there, but a lot of the food on the table I never saw again.

No one seemed sad in this second ceremony for the dead father. In fact, most of the family still smiled, laughed and was having a good time at this ceremony, despite a few loving touches of the father’s headstone.

Meanwhile, another family was having a more difficult Chusoek holiday. They were burying a loved one, forever marking this day as the day so-and-so  was buried. Priests and/or monks are dressed in chrysanthemum yellow for the dead.

Back home at her mother’s house, I had time to explore and play a bit. She lives in a small village in the extreme southern end of Pohang on the coast of the East Sea. The houses, some new, some old, were mostly the old style traditional Korean homes with sloping roofs. Her mom’s house is a simple three rooms and six walls, with a bathroom tacked on in later years. The space between buildings was too tight for a picture of her house close up, so I took this shot from near the sea wall. Her house is the green roofed building. In between is the ruins of what once was a barbershop. Notice how wires just criss-cross any which way. No code, no regulations.

The neighbors are mostly old folks, the younger ones having moved to the city for jobs unless they’ve taken over the fishing business for the fathers. Those who I ran into, I cordially bowed and gave them an “Ahn-yeong-ha-sey-yo” greeting. Later that proved to be a bonus. The neighbors all know each other and word quickly spread who the new “waygook” (foreigner) was. MyeongHee’s mom took in double points for having both a polite son-in-law as well as a waygook son-in-law. She told the family what the neighbors said and my stature with her older brother rose a few notches. He wasn’t keen on having a waygook brother in law but he warmed up.

The women folk aren’t too jazzed about these holidays. They spend days cooking beforehand and always cleaning after. The men wait to be fed and then smoke or drink after meals while the women clean.  I cleared the table once to the astonishment of the women and earned myself a few more points. I explained that it was American style that if one cooks the other cleans. They liked that idea. It’s not hard to impress these people.

Below is the front gate, where I banged my head several times going in and out of the place. It’s just a little too small for most foreigners. My new niece, Min Gyung, fits barely herself. Below is her little brother, Cheng Hyun and MyeongHee’s son, my new step-son, Dong Hyun.

I’m sure it worries my own children to have me write about new step-sons, nieces and nephews.  I hope they don’t. I hope they understand that adding to a family doesn’t subtract from the existing family members. Its the same as when their mother remarried and had more kids. She loves her two new children as much as she does our two.  So it is with me as well. I love my own children very much. There’s plenty of love to go around.