When I was working with Antje and Leslie as a recruiter in the marketing and advertising industry, I learned quite a bit about the business. Not near enough, mind you, to consider myself part of it, but at least I had become aware of the various roles and positions and their importance.

Before coming to Korea I had come across several advertising firms that needed Hispanic, bilingual copywriters. I understood well the need for a Hispanic copywriter and not just a gringo who knew the language. A copywriter needs to understand his audience in order to better market to them.

You might still be wondering (as I once was) what a copywriter really does. Copywriters , well, write copy.  The formal description of a copywriter was this:

Develops concepts and ideas for advertising and marketing materials and campaigns. Writes a wide variety of communications for print, TV, radio, and the Internet. Generates ideas with other members of the creative team. Works in both agency and corporate settings.

Of course, that still doesn’t describe it from a consumer’s perspective.  A copywriter is the person who writes (among other things) the flashy description of the product on the outside of the box, heralding its wonders and enticing all who view it to buy.  A deodorant can might contain such copy as “Smells Great! Keeps You from Smelling Nasty when You’re Sweaty!” or some such stuff (I told you I wasn’t qualified to be one of these guys.)

So now that I’m here in Korea, I see a need for native English speaking copywriters. Not just one who knows the language, but one who understands the audience and how to motivate them to buy their product versus another product. 

The reason for all this diatribe is that I went shopping for a hair dryer. I have to keep that new rock star hair looking swell and letting it air dry just wasn’t doing it. Oh, the copy I found on the various boxes of dryers I found! Some were pathetic and it was clear they had no one on staff who undertood more than basic English. Some were valiant attempts but fell far short of selling me. Others were simply hilarious. Some examples I found:

“…gives a large rush of warm air and provides a feeling of wellbeing.”

I needed a feeling of wellbeing, I just didn’t know it came in a hair dryer

“Three Settings – Hot, Warm, Off!”

I was worried about one that wouldn’t turn off.

“…driesit more faster with a great output of wind.”

My favorite. The ‘driesit’ is theirs, not mine.
But in the end, none of that mattered to me. I bought one with absolutely no English on the box – I simply chose the one with the highest wattage and lowest price. Momma didn’t raise no fools. Jessie is the one who is prone to buying based on the advertising alone.

In all fairness, there were a number of products with well-written copy on the packaging, so it isn’t like everything here is bungled up.  Its just fun to point out the ones where they skimp on translation services.

Maybe when I’m done teaching English I can find a job writing copy here. There’s certainly the need.   I can do as well as some of these guys.

As soon as I arrived in Incheon Airport in Seoul I exchanged some of my greenbacks for Korean won. I turned in $1000 and received 904,000 won. That’s quite a difference from three years ago when a grand would net me almost 1,200,000 won.

The way I look at it, US$1 is worth approximately 1000 won, give or take a few won. So, if you consider I had $1000 when I stepped off the plane, it took only a few days for a fool and his money to part. I spent $96 of it just changing it to k-won, most of that in exchange rates but some went to fees. I spent it all on (mostly) good things, though. It breaks down like this:

•  
  • $400 for a ’94 Hyundai Elantra. (motorcycles are fun, but I can never get the heaters to work on the damn things.)
  • $250 Health club membership for 6 months
  • $ 70 groceries
  • $ 30 power supply for the computer. (My motherboard wouldn’t work with the computer they gave me)
  • $ 35 household goods like soap, papertowels, etc.
  • $ 40 a night out for dinner with MyeongHee and her friends.
  • $ 30 on taxi rides around town
  • $ 94 on exchange rate and fees
  • $ ?? beer

I still need to pay for insurance for the car, which will cost me another $450 for the year. After that, though, my expenses should drop dramatically. Nothing else but food, gas and entertainment to pay for until March 1st when I get paid again. Gas, by the way, is quite a bit higher here than in the US; I’ll be paying close $4.50 – $5.00 per gallon of gas.

The picture on the left is how I looked the night before I left. The one on the right is after I shaved and got my new “Korean” do.

You decide which one is better

I spent all of Saturday with Korean folks. I didn’t see or meet a single native-English speaker. That’s not a bad thing, but it made me really understand how little I know about their language and culture. I went first to MyeongHee’s hair shop. She’d already asked me to shave off my goatee and she wanted my hair cut. I came over here with my long hair styled like a rock star and she wanted it to look more like a Korean rock star.  It’s still long, but she thinned out the side and swept it back  (I might post a picture later.)

Anyway, her friend Un-Jung was there and I stayed the afternoon at the shop and talked. Or tried to. Un-Jung’s English is almost non-existent. My Korean is limited to a few words and phrases, so MH had to do some translating for both of us.

After she closed the shop, we went to a nearby Hof house (a beer and soju joint that serves food.)  I love the way they do things here – the owners of the shop joined us at our table and they thought nothing of sharing the food they just brought to our table and the pitcher of beer we ordered. We talked for a couple of hours (I listened a lot and tried to make sense of it.) It’s so warm and friendly when you’re not just a guest or customer and they really made me feel like I was sharing their home, which, by the way, is not far from the truth.  They work there from 10am until the last customer leaves, so it may as well be home for them. They were sweet people and despite the language barrier, we got on well and laughed a  lot.

As I sat, I silently pondered how blessed I am to be able to travel the world, experience different cultures and to be accepted among them.  I’m a lucky man.

I went out Friday night here in Ulsan.  There’s a couple of bars the foreigners hang out in and they haven’t changed much since I was here in 2005. I went to Benchwarmers, a sports bar in old downtown that is owned by a Canadian and his Korean wife.  On Friday nights, they play Bingo. Woo hoo! I hadn’t played that in a long while. I initially thought, “Bingo? How lame.” But seeing how everyone else was going to play I joined in and actually won a game.  My new friend, Scott, played a trick on a girl and inked her beer bottle with a bingo dauber. She wondered why everyone was laughing at her and didn’t realize her lips and teeth were bright green. A dauber fight ensued and several people looked like a war party  of Comanches getting ready to scalp the settlers.

I made some new friends and met several friends I had known from last time, but, timing is everything.  A couple of the ones I knew are leaving next week. I’m happy to have hooked up with them before they left but will benefit from their leaving – they have some household things they’re selling I need (the last teacher to have this apartment swiped the coffee pot and grinder) . They also have both a car and motorcycle for sale.  

The car would only cost $400 and sounds nice, but I’m leaning toward the motorcycle.  Dealing with traffic here is so much easier on two wheels than on four. They allow motorcyles to ease up to the head of the line at any light or traffic jam. I got a ticket for that in Dallas and the cop (nay, Pig, a word I reserve for only the butthead cops) was a total ass who doesn’t deserve the badge he wore.  Here they understand that allowing the bikes to move up eases traffic, not inhibits it. Despite the weather and safety issues of riding a bike, swiftly moving through traffic to avoid the cars and jams makes it worthwhile. And yes, I’ll wear a helmet – its the law.

Tonight, I’ll check out Tombstone, one of the other foreigner bars, and see who else is still here or interesting enough to meet.

This video is something my daughters recorded the night of my going away party. It would appear they decided some advice and admonishing before I left for Korea. I wonder where they get their silliness? 

I don’t have a phone card to call home yet and the price per min is a little steep. However, I would invite anyone back home who wishes to call me. My two phone numbers are:

1. 82-10-9818-6063 (hand phone)
2. 82-52-244-0569 (house phone)

It would be great to hear from you. I gave a couple of phone cards away for Christmas to some special folks – you know who you are – don’t be shy.

p.s. If you’re a telemarketer or the IRS, I’m no longer reachable at these numbers. I, uh….moved. Yeah, that’s it, I moved.

The first time I came to Korea, I knew nothing of the language, food, customs – nothing. All I knew what that I wanted to see and experience other parts of the world.  I was in awe of it all and the differences between here and home.

This time, I understand a decent bit of the language, food and customs and its not quite so overwhelming. I breezed through immigration, this time with serious baggage inspection and questions. I was able to easily obtain some meds for a sore throat I developed the morning I left Dallas.  I ordered food without having to point to a picture, gesture and grunt. My boss already had a hand phone ready and waiting for me and I remembered how to write text messages in Korean to MyeongHee.  It was a couple of months before I’d progressed this far in assimilating.  I probably don’t have the deer-in-the-headlights look I must have had back then, either.

I’m still tired, though. I woke up at 6am and could not go back to sleep.  Its almost noon (9pm Dallas time) and I need another nap. I hope this jet lag doesn’t take too long. 

More later – after a nap.

I made it safely to my home in Ulsan.  I got in last night around 9:30 local time and then went straight to bed. I didn’t sleep much on the plane – just a few catnaps here and there. I tried not to sleep, actually, so that when I got into this time zone I’d be ready to sleep all night just like everyone else. I woke up at 7am, so I guess it worked.

My boss, Mr. Kong, picked me up last night. MyeongHee was also there at the airport, and we dropped her off at her house on the way back here. It was great to see her although we only visited for a few minutes – she looked fabulous! She thinks my hair style makes me look like a movie star.

Not much has changed in the aprtment since I’ve been gone. The computer still works, but its running a Windows98 Korean version. I’ll swap out my hardware today so I’ll have all my goodies on it. The coffee pot is missing, but that could just have worn out. I have an air conditioner in my bed room. No need now, but that will be great in the summer. I slept poorly that summer I was here without one.

Anywho, I’m here, I’m safe, I’m doing well and I already miss you all. 

Nothing left to pack but the hard drives and motherboard of the computer I’m writing this on. I keep walking around the house looking for something I might have missed. Sometimes I find something, and I have to decide if I’m taking it or leaving it with Mark.

With less than two hours before I leave for the airport, it’s time to pack this computer.  I’ll be back online next from across the globe. 

Ta ta for now.

Marty 

I’d heard early on Saturday that Traci, my former step-daughter, was planning on comming to the party. I was thrilled – I hadn’t seen her in 3 years. Not for lack of trying, but because she didn’t want to see me. At least that’s what I had always been told.

I took a truckload of things to store at Jessica’s house today. Jessica lives close to where Traci works and I thought I’d stop by on my way out. I figured if she was considering coming to the party Saturday, she wouldn’t be upset I came to her.

I stopped in and ordered a coke and didn’t even recognize her. She knew it was me, though. She’s grown a lot since I saw her. She was only a gawky 13 then and now, at 17, she’s a very beautiful young lady.  We chatted cordially, laughed a little, smiled and as I was about to go, I asked if I could take her picture. She offered to have her coworker take a picture of us both. Bonus, I thought, so I waited while she went in to ask. And I waited and waited. And then I waited some more.

After about 10 minutes, her mother drove up. She came up to my car and with teary eyes explained that Traci was just not ready to see me, that she was in the back crying and wasn’t coming out.

I drove away disappointed and perplexed. I never did anything to that child to make her cry. The only thing I’d ever heard over the past three years as to why Traci wouldn’t email or call or respond to mine was that “she was too upset over the way I’d treated her mother.”  It makes me think now that whatever Kelly thinks was so horrible that I’d done to her has somehow twisted in her mind or that she’s twisted Traci’s mind. Someone has blown up whatever story there was to monumental proportions.

But it still seems odd that she would consider coming to the party Saturday, act friendly and cordial when I saw her at work and then be reported as crying and upset when I show up. I say reported because I didn’t see her cry. In fact, I’ve never heard Traci say she didn’t want to see me. I’ve only heard from her mother that Traci didn’t want to see me.

Maybe its time for a poll on what’s going on with Traci. 

I had already shipped three small boxes to Korea, mostly books and small electronics, and thought I’d covered my bases pretty well.  And over the last several months I’d done a decent job of purging my home of unneeded items. Things I couldn’t pack, shop or store I’d either sold or given away, sometimes to just the trash man. As far as getting things really ready, well my bases were covered.

I’m glad I had at least a day off before flying out. I don’t think I’d ever witnessed such a rapid uncovering of bases before. If I were looking to have my ducks in a row, we’d be quite nonlinear today.  I packed only two bags, each weighing about 60-65lbs and another backpack I’d take onboard the plane. That was all fine. It was everything that needed storing that got me. I completely filled Jessica’s closet in her spare bedroom and I made a nice dent in Dad’s storage shed. I still have a boatload of stuff and was surprised how much I’d purged yet still retained so much.

As I write, I have less than 12 hours to go. So many people to call, so much to contemplate – I have no desire to sleep, although I’m tired enough.  I’m trying to work out the hours I should sleep on the plane so I’ll be ready to go to bed when I get “home.” It’ll be 7am Wednesday here when I get to my place but 10pm Wednesday there.

OK, the party Saturday was awesome.  It was humbling to have so many friends and relatives show up. I didn’t get near enough time spent with everyone there and wanted to keep yapping all night. If you came to see me off, bless you, and thank you so much spending your Saturday night out with me. If you couldn’t make it, I thought about you anyway.  It was a fabulous night that I’ll treasure the entire time I’m gone.

The party stopping being fun for a just a little while in the wee hours on the morning. Some dork named Sloan had come with Serena. I like Serena a lot, but I think her picker is broken. She picked a real loser in this guy. I’m sure he’s sweet to her, but his social abilities were found wanting. He never introduced himself to me, although he appeared to have known who I was; he began asking me pointed questions about the “starving North Koreans” as if it were my fault or, at the very least, that by going to I supported their opposites in South Korea. Either way, not a good way to ingratiate yourself with the host. His lack of manners was just one of many things that annoyed me and several others – his body odor, his friends, his drunkeness, etc.

Mere minutes later, I found him in the kitchen with Mark, a knife in his hand and making threatening gestures. Mark and I persuaded him to drop the knife easily enough, but Mark had had enough and tossed him out clean of the house.  Fine, I thought, problem solved.

However, 10 minutes later, I found him still lingering on the front porch and I asked him to leave. He wanted to come back inside and talk to Serena, but I said he’d already been thrown out by one roommate and I wasn’t going to countermand that order. When Sloan started cursing me, I’d had enough, too. I punched him, right in the nose. He backed off down the sidewalk quickly enough, but Devon was there to stop me from making more of a mess of him, and I’m grateful for that. But dammit, that was fun popping that asshole. I haven’t punched anyone in years, but that may be because I haven’t met anyone as rude and obnoxious in my own home before.

He’s called a couple of times since then, mostly to curse us and tell us how upset he his. He told Mark that he and his friends just “play with knives” and we should have known he wasn’t serious. Sorry, life’s too short to play dumbass games with drunks.

Nice end to a great party. I get to go off into the sunset with my chest puffed up, my knuckles still deliciously tingly and feel that I saved the good people of Farmers Branch from an annoying drunk.   

The party was blast and there was indeed some drama – most of it of the melo variety. I can’t write too much at the moment, other than to say a punch to the nose occurred, for I am still feeling like my tongue has more fur than ordinarily like to wake up to.

But I at least wanted to share some pictures from the party. There’s a nice Public Service Announcement video from my daughters, too, but I need to figure out how to stream movies before I post that one.

Today is my last day at work. I’ve been really fortunate to work at Paladin these past several months. I’ve been working as a recruiter with my good friend Antje. The work is good, the pay is more than fair and the environment here is really awesome. We have a couple of kittens here that entertain us and Leslie brings her toddler daughter, Reese, a couple times a week. Sometimes, Antje brings one of her dogs to play up here, too.  Its very relaxed, but busy and the office has been at or near the top sales branch in the company.

Anyway, today is it. I have a couple of job orders I’m still working on, but mostly its going to be cleaning up last minute items and informing my better customers that I’ll no longer be here for them.  Its sad, as passings always are. The last day at a job is always full of emotion. Sometimes, its a good thing to be leaving. Other times, like now, it makes me a little melancholy. Its been a good job that fit well with my abilities and style.

I’ll miss the people, the place and the pace.  Of course, today is just a taste of what is coming between now and lift off when I’ll say goodbye to everyone else here in Texas. I’ll probably leak a little around the eyes some.

I get this all the time when I tell people I’m going for the second time to Korea. “Wow, you must really like it there. What do you like it about it so much?”

You’d think by now I’d have an elevator pitch down for that one. You know the elevator pitch don’t you? You’re a salesrep and you get on the elevator at your client’s office. You’re meeting an executive, but into the elevator walks the CEO of the company. You’ve only got a scant few seconds to give him your well-turned pitch of your product or service’s value statement and garner yourself an appointment before he’s off on his floor or you on yours. Its a golden moment and if your words are not carefully chosen the opportunity is lost.

Well, in my case, its not quite so dramatic. There isn’t a single, glowing reason, held high for all to see, as to why I or anyone else should want to spend a year in Korea. Nope, can’t think of one. Not one anyway.  Several reasons.

Here’s a list of ten good reasons, in no specific order, what I like about living in Korea.  

• Medical expenses. I’ll pay roughly $8-9 for a visit to a specialist. That’s not even with insurance. I can walk in, no appointment, and see the Dr., get a scrip and be on my way in 20 minutes.  If I want to get acupuncture to ease some recurring shoulder pain from climbing, it’ll cost me a whopping $3.
• Korean BBQ. If you ain’t never had it, it won’t do no good to ‘splain it here. Go to Chosun Kalbi at Royal and Harry Hines to thrown down on some real chow. Expect to pay 2-3 times what I’ll pay for the exact same thing there. 
• MyeongHee. Sweet woman. Totally sexy. Say no more, say no more.
• My total Tax burden will be 5% of my income. 5%. So how much is taken out here in the US? Roughly 20% goes out before I even get a penny. Then add in sales tax, gas tax, telecom excise tax, blah blah blah.  5%.  Suck it.
• I’ll work from 1pm until 8pm, 5 days per week. Fridays are “game days”, so work on 1 of those 5 days will be spent playing games that emphasize English. Difficult, stressful work, you see. Getting up before noon, working so late at night…  I’ll probably need plenty of those $3 acupuncture sessions just to chill.
• I get to learn a new language! How else to keep the mind sharp than to constantly challenge it? Research has shown that vigorous mental exercise prolongs ones ability to cope much later in life. When you stop learning, you’re dead.
• Rock climbing on 70+ routes, just a few kilometers from my apartment. There’s several other climbers in the same town still there. Tons of hiking and biking trails all over the mountains surrounding the city. Its a nice change from the concrete prairie here in Dallas.
• My tax dollars will no longer support a President that has lost my respect and the confidence of 2/3rds of the US population. I’m tired of watching GW try to turn the rest of the world into democracies by force while ignoring the constitution and democracy here at home. You send him your money. I’m done with that clown. Want to read more rants? Read my political blog.
• Asia!  I’ll be there, just an hour or two plane ride away from some of the most exotic places on the planet. Food! Culture! Adventure! Ahhh….smell that? Its wanderlust! Catch it.
• Writing. I haven’t done much of it lately. I have one book finished. Another started. I’ll have the spare time I haven’t had here to get in a 1000 words or so a day. That’ll show up on this site, too, on my writing blog.
• Are there more reasons? Sure. Come see for yourself. I’ll have room in my apartment for guests. Who’s coming?

I hope you’ll come back and read more. Its not the same as being here, but on my last trip I took a lot of comfort knowing that I could stay in touch with so many this way.

I’m using the Doogate-Maroon WordPress theme. WordPress has some nice features that allow some seriously cool things, like customizing your code to link to Flickr. The images above are pulled from Flickr automatically while the html is generated automatically by the PHP scripts that define these pages. I merely put in a keyword, in this case “Ulsan” and it brings up random pictures from any user whose pictures have the word ulsan associated with it. Slick. Massively slick. 

I sometimes miss being able to program from scratch like that, but I’m content for the time being hacking their code to my own nefarious ways.

A new journey calls for a new blog. Welcome to MartyPants.US/Korea, Marty’s blog on his 2nd trip to the Land of  Morning Calm.

I plan on having quite a bit more pictures and video than the last time, primarily because I’m not contrained with the website I write on. This time I decided to just buy a server rather than go with a blogging service. Even if they are free, I like the absolute control I have with my own virtual host.  I hope to be able to create several photo galleries, some streaming video and audio clips to more accurately convey a life abroad.  

So, bookmark this page and come back often. I’ll show you what its like to live in Korea. Maybe you’ll tell me about your life – feel free to comment and leave trackbacks.