I got a speeding ticket last week. In truth, I got FIVE speeding tickets last week.  Three of them in one day, one the following day and the last on another. You’d think after getting one, I might be chastened and slow down. But no, there was no flashing lights, no stern policeman to lecture me, no weedling or whining, no “yes sir, no sir” that has served me well in America. (My girls saw that – in the black BMW I got stopped multiple times but drove off with only warnings and an incredulous “you’re so lucky, Dad.”)

All five tickets were electronically produced from cameras high above the roadway. They snapped a picture of the car and the license plate along with the computer stats of where, when and how fast I was going. All computerized radar, photo id and address determination. I’m betting that no human hands touched the notices until someone put them in the outbound mailbox and someone else dropped them in mine.  I’ve always been a  fan of technology, but in this case a real human chasing me down with lights a-flashing would have induced that little adrenaline rush and the post ticket caution that might have lasted the rest of the trip, perhaps even a day or two. Instead, I got all the tickets in the mail and could only be more careful on the next drive.

So, we went out today, along the same path as two of the tickets, but today armed with foreknowledge of what I was up against. And, as expected, I saw the cameras perched along the roadway, waiting like hungry vultures for another victim. I also watched as every other car on the road near there slowed to exactly the speed limit and then sped back up again after passing the cameras. Well, I can’t polite my way out of these tickets, but I can be like the rest of the romans here drive as they do, slowing down only for the cameras.

My worldmap of visitors was recently reset after a year of collecting dots. No big deal, it’s to prevent the thing from becoming a big red smear if it goes on for too long. All the data is still there, just not displayed. I could go through the trouble of adding a second map with last year’s numbers, but it just isn’t worth it.

Still, it looks as if I have just a few visitors. Sniff.

MyeongHee started driving school today. In order to get a license in Korea, one must attend driver education. She’s never driven a car, which is a testament to the public transportation system in Korea. But, having recently bought the new car, she’s now motivated to learn.  We went down on Friday to sign her up and she plunked down around $500 for a month-long class of 2-4 hours daily.  Today, classes began and we left the house early at the ungodly hour of 7:50am. I’ve gotten used to a more leisurely pace and have been taking her to work at around 9:30 or 10 everyday. The traffic isn’t too bad then, but early mornings are wicked bad.

Above is their training course. God only knows what they teach in this class, for Koreans are among the worst drivers imaginable. For a long time, I thought I might be exaggerating that. My own experience is limited to just 14 countries, but my fears were well founded. Recent news proves it.  It could just be that the training course has room for only one car and they are on it alone. That would explain the Korean mentality of driving, which, from my perspective, is to A) turn/change lanes/pull into traffic because no one else could possibly be there and then B) look to see who’s honking. A full-up dashboard/steering wheel in front of a computer graphics simulation of a crowded roadway full of idiots might be a more realistic training course.

When she finally takes the wheel and drives off to work on her own, I’ll be as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Or Delusions of Grandeur?

There’s a couple of these signs along Highway 1 in Korea. This particular one is just outside the north loop of Daegu. I can’t decide if the road department is overly optimistic or deluded, but for Highway 1 to be the “Asian” highway seems more than just a bit of a stretch.

In case you’re seriously geographically challenged, Japan is about 200 miles away from the Korean peninsula across the Pacific Ocean. There ain’t no highway that would connect Japan with any part of Korea. And, if you’re politically challenged, South Korea is, for all practical purposes, an island. There are no roads that one can travel from Korean to China without going across North Korea. Although there are roads, folks just don’t get to drive through the place at will. The North Koreans get a little testy if you try.

In my estimation, therefore, Highway 1 is merely the South Korean highway. But it did give me a chuckle to witness their wishful thinking.

I just don’t know what to think of this. It is information? Advertisement? Or a Warning?

If whoever they are picking up really are D.O.A then why would they need EMTs, as the back window says? There’s no emergency anymore. Wouldn’t they just need a guy with a gurney and sheet? And if whoever they are picking up isn’t D.O.A, then why would they print it in bold letters on the side? Hurry get out of the way before they become D.O.A?

Words fail me. But damn little surprises me here in Korea anymore, especially when there’s English involved.

This time, a very informal one. MyeongHee’s hair-shop friends, a gaggle of women who gather, gossip and snack at her hair shop came over over today. We’ve talked about having another housewarming for her friends, but just talk. Today, they all came to pick MyeongHee up on their way to Pohang to pick raspberries. They dropped off this pyramid of toilet paper.

This is a very traditional Korean housewarming gift. No, it isn’t because we crap a lot or need to wipe our booties or noses more than usual. The toilet paper, with its endlessly long spool of paper, represents long life, long happiness and everything else good that one would want to last a long time.

Judging from the pile of paper we have now, we’ll have lots of happiness. We’ll also have paper for many many months.

Although quite a bit different from gifts westerners might buy for housewarming, TP is certainly useful. Koreans use toilet paper for dinner napkins, too.  We have a spool just next to our table and dish rack.

You know the rest…come flowers. Lots of flowers. Summers here in Korea don’t get serious until later in July. For now its either warm days and cool nights or rain and with it lots of color.

This is a tropical water lily from my own water garden on the veranda. It only blooms in the morning and afternoon and then closes up for the night. I took this shot with a 0.5 magnifying lens as the flower is just slightly larger than a silver dollar.

This is along the river bank of the Taewha River. The city peppered the place with zillions of wild flowers. Butterflies are everywhere.

This patch of beauty is also along the river bank. I have no idea what these flowers are, but their petals are delicate and resemble paper. The black centers make a beautiful contrast to the red. While most of these are red, we found a few  sporting white or even pink colors. They make perfect hair adornments for my lovely wife.

This didn’t last long. Apparently, only “wild and crazy” Korean girls wear flowers in their hair. She quickly took this flower off after I took the picture before any other Koreans could spot her and start throwing stones…or whatever is it that Koreans do with women labeled as “wild and crazy.”

Also along the river is an extensive bamboo forest. This is considered one of Ulsan’s twelve scenic areas. There’s a  great walking/running/biking trail that goes through and around the forest. Despite the fact that the river runs through the center of the city, the forest provides quite a bit of quiet and calm. Once inside, it feels cool, dark and and very “jungle-y.” For those interested in trivia, bamboo isn’t really a tree. It’s a species grass, albeit a very large one.

Is this a bleeding heart? In the middle of the forest floor was this delicate little flower, all alone, perhaps the size of a dime.

After an afternoon spent along the river walk, we headed home. We needed a nap. Just after dinner, the rains came again, this time accompanied by lots of thunder and lightening. Today, its clear and sunny, but that won’t last. It’s supposed to cloud up and rain mid week and stay that way for a while.

And you gotta do what you gotta do. SaTang is trained to go outside and if it’s raining all day like it has been for the past three days, well, you gotta make do. No quick trips out in the backyard for us. We have to walk across the street to the park. So, we got her a raincoat

The beef thing just keeps on giving. The past few days there have been enormous protests in Seoul over the US beef deal. Not much going on here in backwater Ulsan, but the capital is awash in ludicrous behavior. Thousands of people have swarmed into the streets to protest against the government for agreeing to import American beef. Why? Mad Cow and the possibility that one might get a fatal disease.

Here’s just one snippet of video from the recent protest in Seoul. Looks like fun – if you’re into pain.

And don’t forget – all of this despite the fact that NO Americans and NO Koreans have EVER died from Crutzfeld-Jacobs, the human form of Mad Cow. The incredible ignorance displayed by the protesting Koreans is stupefying.

But there might be a plausible explanation for all of this madness (pardon the pun.) A recent test of Asian countries using the International English Language Testing System found that Korea ranks 19th of 20 countries in English language ability. Were these ignorant masses able to read English better, they might actually get the facts about how safe American beef is and what hogwash the Korean news media keeps running about how unsafe it is.

Now, where’s my hamburger?

in case  you’ve gotten on the blog in the past day or two or three, you might have gotten a blank screen. I got hacked. Not sure it happened, but I noticed on Tuesday morning. Took me most of my spare time to track it down and fix it. My Korea blog is ok. Two other blogs are dead in the water. I might just let them stay there and start over.