This month in Korea the rules for foreigners getting a visa to work here changed. Before, all one needed (at least to teach English) was a proper set of university records and a valid passport. Now they require a criminal background check and a health exam.

I guess its not difficult to blame them for wanting either. Some foreigner, it was recently discovered, was a pedophile in his own country. They certainly don’t need that kind of person here, especially one who would be teaching youngsters. Sometimes, even in private lessons, as many of us do. So, proving you don’t have a criminal record is now a requirement.

The “health statement” I’m not so sure of. It asks about drug use, HIV/AIDS and mental health, but the ramifications of how one answered was not clear at all.

I started my quest for these things last week. The first I learned was that my own US Embassy was of absolutely no help. Not a whit. Their answer to how one obtains a criminal record was “We don’t know. Call your  local law enforcement back home.” So, I did. Only to learn that I can’t get a criminal back ground check done and sent to me over the phone. I have to show up in person. Moreover, it would only show any arrest I had while living in that particular city. Since I only lived there for year, it wouldn’t prove much. Would I be required to visit every place I’d lived in the past X years to get a complete picture? No one knows the answer to that. Getting a nationwide check is not an available option to individuals – only to law enforcement, or businesses that require it such as schools or public safety type jobs. I can’t request one for myself. The sad part is that whatever work I would do would prove that I have a completely clean record. Those that have a criminal record could easily sidestep the issue by only collecting information from places they knew they’d never been arrested.

Then I started on getting my health statement. According to Korean Immigration, I could go to any hospital and they’d conduct one. Nope. Not even close. I went to four different hospitals before I found one that even knew what I was talking about. The fifth one seemed to understand, but not really. I ended up calling Korean Immigration while at the clinic and then handed the phone to the Dr. to have them explain, in Korean, what was required. Then I sat for 45 minutes while they discussed among themselves (apparently thinking I don’t understand any Korean) what all these required tests were and how they were supposed to be done. At one point, I  interrupted and told them how to spell a certain substance they were supposed to test for. Then they told me it was lunch time and could I come back in an hour and a half. Oh, and could I please bring a passport-size picture to attach to the form. Frustrated and angry, I left and came back to the school to tell my tale of woe.

Not wanting to let their native English speaker slips through the cracks and not be allowed to stay, they jumped into action. I repeatedly heard yelling from the office while they talked with immigration on the new rules.

In the end, I dodged a bullet.  While the new rules took affect on Dec. 1st, my director learned that if a new contract was signed and paperwork processed before Dec. 15th, the old rules would apply. We signed a new contract this week (we had already agreed on terms back in November) and I should have my new visa within a few days. By the time this one expires next year, I hope to have a “Family” visa, as I’ll be married to a Korean national. The rest of the poor schmucks teaching here? That’s their problem.